rendezvous then i'm through with you

do you ever feel like you just missed out on something reallly, reeeeaallllllyyyyyy good? or, say, that you had two amazing choices in front of you, and either one would result in something amazing, and even though you had something good happen, you still wonder what would have happened if you had chosen differently?

apparently kris is working at trader joe's too, so the three brothers are making the trader joe's by my house the hang out for the hotties... and my mom said vince has green contacts and alex has a tattoo on his forearm (in addition to the immense muscles) so I'm just drooling and looking for an excuse to go to trader joe's when all three of them are working. yeah, i'll just so happen to go dressed up in my nicest clothes, with makeup and everything, because that's what i do when i'm just grocery shopping, right?

oh gosh, i am so... ditzy right now. i won't mention any names but someone i really shouldn't have a minor crush on broke up with his girlfriend and i'm on a high. why? because i'm so... ditzy. i hope i never become like his girlfriend, calling his work all the time just to argue with him because at least he's talking to me and nevermind that i ripped up all his clothes when the cops let me into the apartment we shared because i had the baby with me... i hope i never become like those girls...

y'all should read The Best of Everything by Rona Jaffe, it's a really... insightful book, not to mention that one of the main characters, Caroline Bender, has the job I dream about every day, the job I've dreamt about every day since I first realized that job existed... I can't remember if it was high school or elementary, but omg... How incredible, to be an editor for a publishing company, to have authors, to read manuscripts... Oh, My Goodness. If I do go into the newspaper business, I'll always know it was a second choice, but newspapers are everywhere, and good publishing companies are mainly based in New York. Oh, My Goodness. Why do I have to decide now, what I want to do for the rest of my life?

And I've got my own Eddie, too. I had a dream about him, that he was stealing from the company while I was at work and then this girl pulled an alarm and the cops came and were going to blame me for letting him in to steal, for being an accessory, and I couldn't do anything but cry... Then I dreamt that my uncle died and I was crying again, and then I can't remember my last nightmare but I know I was crying in that one too... What is wrong with me?

Ask, and I'll tell you the entirely uninteresting story of me and the two abercrombie models at Vons this weekend. Fishing in Mammoth is no fun if you're with your family and all these hot guys are being cockblocked by your three 16, 20, and 23 year old cousins and two six-foot brothers.